I dont know what to feel

I dont know who I am

I dont know what is real

Waiting for you

for you to Tell me what to do

Give me some sign

Something to let me know you are still mine

Am i still yours

Do you still want me

I cant help but give up

to say enough

my head in my hands

tears down my cheeks

this feeling in my heart

a feeling that says im no longer what you seek

But we all know I use this for my rantings and ravings. To get this off my chest, to feel better… soo here we go again..

So, as we all know by now, Lailanni is engaged To a wonderful man named Ron.. He is caring,sweet,considerate, and he understands me and puts up with my antics, He is all of these things and more….when he is around.. and here is where we get to my rantings and ravings.. If you love someone and claim such a fact, then why do you not spend time with them???? I understand being busy…believe me i do!! I have been working 10 hr shifts and to top it off i did that 9 days in a row.. had one day off then did it for another 3.. but i still make time.. Is it odd that I ask to make time?? Am i the only person in the world that tries ?? It seems like i am the only person with this theory.. And I know i shouldnt be airing my dirty laundry ut im pretty irritated, im past mad.. its been 3 weeks, im over being mad…now im just hurt, and a little lost.. I love this man, i truely do.. So do i keep being hurt and sad in hopes that things go back to how they were?? or do i just finally give up?? I dont exactly know where I stand.. He tells me he will prove it, but hes never around to prove it.. *Walks off to the managers chairs and tries to not think about*

All the happiness is just a show.

Let’s see whats new??

I am engaged in SL to Ron Cerise. I am trying to plan the wedding but it’s not wortking out so well. And i’m not doing the hard stuff. I’m just trying to find flowers and a dress.. Josslynn is being kind enough to set it all up for me.. I Love my Jossypoo!! I’ve been really upset with a certain person.. Feel like maybe they did something very important for very wrong reasons. And it just may effect us to the point i won’t be able to handle it. I am so tired of having my heart broken by friends and family.

I am a good person damnit!! Why does this happen?? I give give give and take at times and yet i still get walked all over and treated like shit.. I don’t get it at all.

On a good note. SK is no longer but we have turned into something else i cant spell it, its in Latin.. thanks Para for that one…hahaha but, from this change I have met  a few really great people. First off is Kaley, this girl has helped me a lot these last few weeks. She listens to me bitch and complain and lets me drag her around on hunts. But I also let (ok,ok i actually want to go and enjoy it) her drag me around too!! We have a lot of fun whether its just sittin with the roo’s with my wifey, or sittin with the kitties with her family. Shes a great gal. I also met some great people from our time in Charmed Death.. They are some nice people with great hearts, and a lot of understanding. Thank you to them for everything!!

My wifey (lael) and i have inherited some pretty cool roo’s!! She will be my maid of honor at the wedding too..hehe That girl is my heart and soul!! She is my best friend and i couldnt ask for anyone better..cause i wouldnt find one!!

RL is going well, working a lot.. i work for Verizon Wireless now.. It’s fun.. hours and pay sucks but its better than being unemployed lol..

I no longer have  land with prims sadly.. I have a multiscene skybox with Ron. Its fun i get to have a different house every day, but its not the same as having land with prims and all of my animals.. But oh well, its economically smart.

ummm other than that nothing new.. id add pictures but im at work so i dont have any… umm ok bye bye now!!

This is the Secret Black Pistol outfit with Boots!!

The detail NOYA puts into her work is amazing!! Again simple and easy resize scripts which is wonderful cause we all know no 2 woman are shaped the same.. unless the have the same no mod shape..lol

This outfit allows me to show my no nonsense, kick ass mean biker chick side!! There’s a gun on my leg and I am loving it!!

NOYA has some amazing stuff people!! BUY IT!!!!

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/stores/68414

I absolutely LOVE them!! It is perfect timeing too!! At the moment I am obsessing over make up in SL, and **NOYA** has came out with some great make up!! And they are called **NOYA** meeroo!! How perfect is that?? they come in 24 different combinations. They have this beautiful meeroo flower that extends from the outter corner of your eye and have many shading options.

The shading options are:

~Cateyes

~Natural

~Smokey

And in each of those shading there are 4 colors of flowers:

~green

~blue

~orange

~white

You also have the coice of having a flower on the outter corner of both eyes or just one!!

So many options, I LOVE IT!!

Below is just a sample of what you receive.

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/stores/68414

Hair: Magika- Word (blond,Honey)

Skin: LAQ Linnea Nougat Dark Brows

Outfit: **NOYA** Secret Black Pistol Outfit with Boots

The makeup is very sparkly(Which we all know Laila LOVES sparkly). The eyes are surrounded by a golden green that really highlights green eyes and makes blue pops out. Oddly enough it makes brown eyes seem darker and mysterious. Wish I could have this in RL!!

The parted Lips is a very playful touch, and a bit seductive if i may say so myself!!

I have yet to find a product from NOYA that is not magnificent!! And her gifts are amazing!! Most places you get a nice little trinket you will never use. You definately will use NOYA’s

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/stores/68414

SLURL for **NOYA** update group

http://slurl.com/secondlife/CORSICA3D/103/181/603

Hair: Magika-Maya (Reds:Cedar)

My most recent purchase is her Badgal Black Outfit with Boots.

OMG I LOVE IT!! It has the biker chick i’ll kick your ass while looking smoking hot aspect to it! It has all layers which is nice,again because well, on a typical day I have something on every layer. The boots are amazing!! They are hot and have re-size scripts which for people like me is very helpful!! Currently this outfit is on Promo for 99l$ on the marketplace with many,many other wonderful things!! Link provided!

https://marketplace.secondlife.com/stores/68414