Lailanni Carver's Psychotic Ramblings

SO lots to talk about..

Things are pretty good..been enjoying what SL has been throwing my way..

I’m no longer a volunteer do to my own choice..

O0O0.. I am now an event host at Neva Naughty.. It is alot of fun and I enjoy the responsibilty.

I have gotten addicted to the game Greedy!! OMG i LOVE that game..it is so bad I have started playing it in RL(which is much harder to keep score then in SL)

Thankfully my wonderful and always entertaining clan members are just as addicted as I am and play for hours on end with me..lol

Which brings me to a funny stroy..

The ever so beautiful and funny bella says “laila come help me kick Rhys ass in greedy!!”

And what do I do?? “OK!! TP me!!!!!” *zooom* in pops little ole me and Rhy (Rhydal) is sittin with bella on his lap and she is teasing him merclessly (however its spelt, you know, meaning without mercy) and of course I have to chime in!!

We are sittin there cussing him out for every good roll he gets and flaunting ours in his face.. and of course we have to flaunt our boobs in hs face too.. Our family is great!!  We did this till 3am SLT!! Which is a normal occurance for us..

In the end we all lost 20lbs from laughing and are now closer then ever..amazing what a few rude and crude remarks will do for ones relationships *laughs*

ok, not so funny but i wanted to share it.. and its majorly censored..LOL

Oh and side note i learned..dont ever let bella or Rhy run out of Cig’s..they go to bed when they do..lol

And a little note For Stephy..nothing stupid that you have EVER done comes close to comparing to Para taking the House Of Blood instead of a tank!!!!!

I’ve met some great friends recently.. Most of them at Neva surprisingly.. and they are normal!! Seen some beautiful places I had never seen before..

Still missing some old friends a lot, but i am sure they are doing wonderful..

Congrats Kimmi on your marriage..you deserve to be happy..

Other than that not much to talk about..

On a RL note…Emily turns 4 next month!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHhhhhhh!!!

ok, so a few things to talk bout..

I have a job in SL.. the first time in almost 2 years.. I had one as Aao, but it didnt last long.. I am a dancer at Neva Naughty.. and most who have not been around SL much don’t know that its not as raunchy and perverted as it used to be.. Yes, its still an orgy room but its got some class.. i know i know an oxymoron but its true.. The people there are great.. it like the shelter but R rated.. We have many events daily and there is a decent pot.. I work the later shifts obviously.. Its fun

I got my volunteership at the shelter back.. YAY!!  you can still find me there hanging out with my friends old and new..

PS Congrats Kalina on your partnership to Cody

I am a member of the Sleepless Knights Clan in Bloodlines.. Daigana is my liege and I love her to death My clan kicks ass!! We have lots of fun events and we just like to hang out and hunt.. its fun

Once alone and forgotten

Wandering with no direction

You took my heart and Soul

And offered me protection

We are many and strong

A family we have become

United we work as one

Envied by many, Hated by some

We protect our own

And love them all

As long as we are together

We shall never fall

Hunting the dark nights

We shall prevail over all

For we are the Sleepless Knights

OK, thats was fun..

ok, so i havnt written in a long time.. things are going well.. Been working and spending time with my friend and her daughter.. Emily is doing great.. She is in school now and she loves it!! Im back in-world im sure you have all noticed.. Its good to be back, but i like my RL too..

Been spending time with Family

I am officially in the process of getting my divorce finalized.. thankgod cause he is a deadbeat dad..

He has yet to give me an assistance.. but oh well, his loss not mine or Emily’s..

Just been taking it day by day.. And I am finally happy.. I am happy with the way things are going,

Things are looking very positive for me and my family..

I really should be sleeping…oh well..

other than that nothing too new..

ok, im off to dream land!!

umm…well, my nephew is 11 yrs old today….man do i feel old…lol It;s amazing how yimes has flown since i moved home..

News.. I got my Laptop..Yay!! Cant wait to be back at the shelter volunteering.. Ive been doing some writting which has been really good for me..

I’ ve reconnected with an old friend of mine, She just had a little girl that is sooo adorable.. We get to spend a lot of time together and she has joined SL with me…YAY!! so if anyone see’s Daigana lurking around my house..Its ok…lol It;s great to be back with people i knew when i waqs me and not the stupid unhappy military wife i was for 3 yrs.. She has helped me to remember who I am and what I am like.. It doesnt hurt her cousin helps by gettin me drunk and having me tell my life story…LOL.. drunk people are sooo stupid…but i love myself so its ok…LOL I should be asleep, but im not…. oh well..

Lets see.. right now im irritated at the economy.. im irritated with the department of child support services cause its been over a yr and they still havnt done SHIT to get me child support..

I’m irritated with the Ex-husband because he is a deadbeat dad who doesnt give a shit about his daughter and wont finalize the divorce..

O0O0O0 and i really hate 2-timing manipulative lieing assholes who only give a shit when they are bored.. i’m sick of feeling like shit because someone would rather choose a stupid game over me..which had happened twice now.. im not asking for someone to drop everything for me but a little acknowledgment would be nice…grrrr…. and why are people so different arund certain people…when your alone they are one way and when your around therefriends they pretty well ignore you….. WTF… grrrrrrrr…..im so irritated and not at them im irritated at myself for letting it upset and hurt me.. I hate being so damn emotional and taking everything personal… i hate people…. *walks off to grab a really big cup of coffee*

Things are ok, been just taking it day by day.. got temporarily laid off but that changes at the end of the month….THANKGOD!! i get my laptop on the 17th or so..YAY and things are ok…could be better but could be worse.. no other news.. No new love interests, no loss of friends. i am gettin friends back though.. YAY!! so, i will be in world soon…

O0O0O0.. couple of special mentions..

   Free~ Congrats on the new job, Im Sooooooo proud of you and i know you will do great, you deserve this more than anyone i know *hugs and Kisses*

  Drew~ Congratulations on gettin you degree, I’m proud of you.  Now i just need to come visit you and your life will be complete.. LMAO!!

 Luci~ I love you sooooo much.. you keep me sane when all i wanna do is rip peoples heads off.. and your constant humor brings a smile to my face daily *thinks i should check facebook for my daily dose of Luci humor*

 And last but not least… the oh so disappeared Ray.. you need to contact me cause im startin to worry…jackass.. you now me a worry to no end bout your stubbourn ass…. but you know i still love ya for all eternity.. besides kylie your the only friend i got who puts up with all my Bullshit antics… *smiles sweetly*

Hope all are well and see you in world soon

*hugs and kisses*

Ok, its been a while since ive posted anything… Things are good..Got a new car.. a 2009 Ford Fusion.. its gorgeous and i love it.. Emily starts preschool next Month *cries* she is gettin soooo damn big.. im workin a little less which is very Bad since i have more bills now.. oh well, im making it work.. Emily’s dad is startin to come around more.. still not giving me money but atleast he is around for her.. I’m kinda up in the air about a few things.. not sure how to handle them, but i always work things out so this time will be no different.. my dad and i have been gettin al ong really well.. and hopefully soon i will be gettin a computer and be around SL more.. i miss you all soooooooo much.. but we will see whatthe future holds for me.. other than that theres really nothin O0O0O0 i got new furniture for my room and i Love it!!!!! its all a really dark wood and ive got my room looking very elgenant goth i LOVE it!! its very Vampire Lailanni..lol ok, i think thats it for now….Adios!!

Why is it that at midnight is when everything must return from fantasy and reality comes crashing in?? Cinderella had till midnight and the girl and the mpumpkin went back to being  alone and forgotten.. more and more these days i feel that way.. And cinderella even got her happily ever after so i feel like the pumpkin.. going from ugly and nothing to beautiful and needed and as soon as the clock hits midnight right back to nothing..even worse.. being crushed.. my day will be going great then ill wake up around midnightish and think, “damnit, a whole new day for shit to go wrong and get screwed over again” Seems as if i cant do anything right.. As soon as someone wants something they are all about me but once they get it the moment is gone.. hats not to great for the self esteem, which i dont really have anyways so i guess its no surprise…. i know better then to get my hopes or to think “maybe, just maybe they really feel what they say..” i look in the mirror everyday, i know what people see.. so i should know better then to hope and dream…ehhh oh well, just my run down self pity shit i guess.. wow, ive never really let my insecurities and depression show this much.. guess theres a first for everything..

Im really pist off cause its my birthday and noone seems to give a shit including my family……

So we spoke to a gentics counslar and she informed us that the 2 genes we thought she had for CF were actually the same one.. sdhe has th Delta 508 mutation.. but they cant rule out CF completely becuase there are soooo many unknown gene mutation for CF so they are diagnosing her with Mild Cystic Fibrosis.. thank god!!